The Propensity to Change

Change is something we, as humans, ought to become predisposed to. I remember reading a quote that stuck with me recently by the renowned Sir Winston Churchill:

"To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often"

As I look back on my writing since I started this blog three years ago, I feel that a common denominator of many of the parts of my life has been “change”. Whether it was adaptation to ship life, growth in university, or completely pivoting and starting an education in prehospital care, change has always been at the forefront of what I believe. 

Closing out this chapter at the Justice Institute is yet another example of how change manifests itself in my life. In all honesty, I love the way of living that these alterations have contributed to. I feel like a more well-rounded, developed version of the person I was before. Less rough around the edges if you will. In this last chapter of growth however, I have come to arguably love the version of myself created the most.

For those just catching up, this past year I have spent expanding my scope of practice from being an Emergency Medical Responder to a much broader scope in Primary Care Paramedicine. The ultimate goal of this training was, and remains, to serve in the Canadian Armed Forces as a Paramedic. With this training comes a mandate to support and care for people in crisis. Whether military or civilian, I strive to help where possible. I've learned a few very valuable lessons from all this training and believe it or not, the biggest lessons were not strictly medical. 

To start, I learnt that people in distress rarely act predictably. To somebody entering the picture for the first time as a paramedic, what you are witnessing can feel confusing or over exaggerated. This is rarely the case though. To that person, that patient, what they are experiencing is very real. Just because it feels normal to you, does not mean that it is in fact "a normal experience". Coming to understand this helped me comprehend something very important that I plan to take with me through change. Meeting people where they are at is one of the easiest ways to support somebody. Whether they are in a medical emergency or, to a lesser extent, they are just having a hard day, you sacrificing a little bit to get to them and help them walk through the turbulent experience can genuinely support somebody in more of a way than you ever thought possible. The reason why this resonated so much with me is that through experiencing my influence on others, I realized that people have been doing this for me all along. Now? Now it is my turn to pass the gesture of good will on to others who need it more then I do at this moment.

The second, and arguably greatest lesson I learned is that showing compassion and kindness to strangers is the greatest form of love there is. Let me break that idea down. There are plenty of forms of love in this world. Some easier to come by than others. Romantic love, platonic love, familial love, estranged love, etc. 

So often, the people I have recently been privileged to meet are in need of help. Technically, I could provide medical care and leave it at that. This does not solve the fact that with crisis, comes a change in emotions though. By taking a more holistic approach, you can genuinely change somebody's experience from remembering the painful or sad moments to remembering your face. My clinical educator shared a powerful message with me which was this:

"People will not remember the medical treatments you provided them, they will remember the way you made them feel"

Through every person I met, I tried to fulfil this idea. What I noticed was people, even in extreme distress, showed gratitude. It is this form of love that I will cherish the most. Seeing people I've never met before and likely will never meet again have a simple connection over support in times of challenge. While I can't speak for my patients, I remember being a child and requiring support from a paramedic and how much compassion they showed for me. It is so special that we, as medics, are entrusted to be a part of the sacred moments, the devastating moments, and all the other instances in between.

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As I complete this stage of my professional training, I've found myself at the precipice of another period of change. In my near future, I will enter into the training pipeline for my specific career in the military. With this comes months of training across Canada only to be followed by unknown moves to cities where I will continue to provide care. Unlike many experiences of change in my past, I have little notice, let alone control, of the change I will be subjected to. I would be lying if I said this didn't scare me. I pride myself on thinking through every possible outcome to every facet of every decision. I am not one to impulsively make a deicision myself let alone allow someone else to make that decision on my behalf. For one of the first times in my life, I have completely passed the reins to others and I remain on their mercy. I knew that this would be a condition of this career but that hasn't made it any easier. 

I've found that through this sacrifice of freedom, I've come to appreciate the smaller things in my life though. For one, I now really appreciate the pieces of my life I maintain a sense of control over. When I find things that I have truly for myself, I cherish them. On top of this, I also try hard to connect with the people around me. If it's possible for me to move at any given point, I need to ensure that the connections I have with my friends and loved ones remain strong enough to withstand that future distance, whether it be temporary or permanent.

Finally, I've broken a cardinal rule and begun to connect church and state. What I mean by that is that if I could be pulled from my physical community at any given point, then I need to ensure I have a community that can travel with me. By building connections with people in the military, I ensure that I continue to have a support system that moves when I move. This interconnection of my work and home lives has been a challenging balance but if I've learned anything, it is that the people I work along side, are generally people worth keeping around.

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I said this before and I will say it again: I love the life that change brings. That doesn't negate the fact that change can be extremely scary at times. I write this piece at a time of great uncertainty for me. Perhaps my next blog will be written from this same spot in my bed. Or maybe I will be somewhere else in this world continuing to support Canadians through healthcare. I will continue to share my honest outlooks here. While this may be something to have you read and think over, it is also a place for me to share my experiences; past, present, and future. The outlet of writing on this canvas is something I hope will, despite this world full of transition, never change.

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